You would think id be ecstatic at being too busy to write… But its not even that anything great is going on.  Im not always healthy with my lifestyle:  i wake up too late, dont eat breakfast, graze all morning at work, eat lunch, come home, work out, get home late, and eat a huge dinner. My point, is im only busy because im messing with my schedule.  Im trying to get to bed earlier, get up earlier, stay at the gym longer, and so on. Im burning it at both ends, because things in my professional life are dicey at best, tumultuous at least, and catastrophic at worst.  Smart people dont wait for the next move to find them, so im always on the run.  Im waiting for the life i want to get here, so i can slow down.

That as it is, in my travels recently ive gotten a few lines, and im excited to write them.  Im not sure when ill get to it, but i wanted to capture what was on my mind when i got them.  On NavWorks, they put up challenges.  I rarely play, since i usually only write when something drives me to it (a bad characteristic for someone who writes, but i am not a writer, so i digress).  But maybe one of you will finish one so i dont have to.

I cleaned my house the other night.  Top to bottom, in an OCD fashion.  You cant understand the way i clean, if all of your senses work.  Anyway, though its only one raw verse, its literal.  I have an old box… I rarely open it.  Sometimes to put things in, and occasionally to empty it out in to the garbage. I found myself dozing to sleep last night… Almost wanting to apologize for having put someone in there. But if i cant understand it, im not sure i can expect anyone else to? I might finish it, i might not.  Im pissed about it, actually.  I said i was DONE with that. But with the REST of the HOC falling down, i revert back to familiar territory. Ill get back up, but maybe ill finish it anyway, since it was an honest thought.

The box I gave, the one I kept, and how upon the latter wept,

That may I fight, it would appear, (that though youre never welcomed here)

Youre Privy then, for as this seems, the way it isn’t what it means,

As hearts and hands will have no locks, I had to lose you… in that box.

Today was a lousy day, too… Just for some petty circumstantial crap in my day to day… So i viciously took it out on myself at the gym.  Overly quiet as my life has been lately, i dont get soothing conversation much these days.  But i did tonight, which was nice.  Sometimes you just need someone to idly converse with.  I had a recollection (so horrible) that i shared, about a desolate moment in my past when someone came to me for comfort, when i wouldnt spare a rod or word for anyone.  In that sitch, i gave brutal and unwavering honesty “no, we wont be alright…”  BUT, as i recounted this story, i thought about my friend i was talking with… A good person.  Not stuck up, pretentious, bitchy, arrogant, or someone otherwise engaging in some form of general douchbaggery that makes me want to hit them.  LOL.  While i recounted this terrible occurrence (and all the cars ive destroyed), i just thought *Man, howd we get here?  Surely youre destined for more than this,* and out this came.

Though the past is long departed, some is waning, some more recent,

 Though delayed, a future started, must arise, for someone decent

Whats to come, from all you crying, as your life would then retreat?

When hands to doors on pasts aren’t prying, there’s a destiny youll meet…

I dont like posting unfinished stuff.  My sense of enjambment doesnt take in until a few verses are down, so theyre rough, the words arent… articulate.  Whatever.  Its all i got, “these are the jokes people…”.  Maybe ill get to them one night soon… EDIT:  Its 10:34… so much for my going to bed early!